07.05.05..3:04 pm

(while listening to Adam and Joe on xfm)

ms. meeps: We should have a radio show
grundylezimbra: I�m sorry?
ms. meeps: No I�m serious. I think we�d be great!
ms. meeps: [to the sound of raucous scoffing] No, really! I think it�d be hi-larious!
grundylezimbra: Well sure, but there�d only be two people laughing.

And that�s the sad truth of my life. I sometimes wonder if people get together because they get on so well, or if because no one else will laugh at their jokes. My outrageous delight in M�s �comic timing� is probably more to do with the fact that I think he�s the foxiest thing to have ever worn pants than his Comedy Club prot�g� material. It may also be because neither of us can ever remember jokes and when we do we�re laughing so hard at the memory of when we first heard it all that comes out are barely traceable sound blips between the sputtering snorts and drive-heave exhaust giggles (my personal specialty). There has been many a time when I�ve laughed so hard I�ve fallen out of my seat, slumped against him in fits of uncontrolled giggles while everyone else around us looks wearily at each other and tries to change the subject.

Case in point at my birthday so many moons ago (I told you I�d get to it one day). The one things I remember more than anything else is the two of us telling jokes, cackling uproariously, going �Huh?! Huh?! Get it?!� and then �No, really. 'Tongued!'� and then �O COME ON! That�s hilarious!�

My birthday was a wonderful wonderful night. All the people I wanted to be there were (expect R. who has no money and Zanna and Nelle because they�re both out of the country). I got goaded into drinking way more than I would have because Sarah kept poking me in the side with �If you don�t drink this�.I may have to kill you� dagger eyes. I got Never Pop Bubbles (which to be sure never pop unless you squeeze them and then they explode in a sticky mess) Wacky Glasses (which have games you put on a stick to prop up in front of you like mazes and hula-hoops. You basically have to waggle your head around, and go dizzy and cross-eyed trying to get the ball through the maze) and the BEST THING EVER: a teeny foam dinosaur which expands when you put in water and then shrinks again when you let it dry. I think I may have killed it though because I could not wait to try it and threw it into the dregs of a pint. I tried fixing it the next day but gobs of spit and plastic stuff kept flaking off and it just sort of floated a bit than fell over and sank.

M ended up carrying my home, a journey I don�t remember but apparently talked non-stop for the entire 33 minutes it took to walk from the bar to my front door. And then turned to M when he put me down and said, �You�ve not been saying much, are you ok?�

M and I will have been together a whole year tomorrow. I know it�s not an actual year of monogamy, but neither of us can remember when that was and it was a year today that we first kissed and he told me that all the other guys I was humping were buffoons because they didn�t want me all to themselves. (I did mention that I was humping more than one because I didn�t want any of them to myself, but apparently that wasn�t the point.)(And now I�m really glad he told me all that, because humping just one person all the time is GREAT!) It�s also a year since he first slept in my bed, and even though we didn�t get with the humping and just snuggled, it�s also the first time I realised how perfectly my bum fits to the curve of his lap as we sleep.* In the past six months we�ve spent a grand total of four nights apart from each other and every morning after I�ve woken up somewhat glum with a cold bum. Sleeping in his arms is the closest thing to pure comfort and happy I can think of and I hope it never goes away. I hope that this time next year I remember to look back at this and remember how happy I am at this exact moment. And then shake my head and think, Man I didn�t even KNOW for happy back then!!

*Do we have �laps� while we sleep? I didn�t want to say �groin,� but I suppose really that�s what it is. Still though, what a time to be mentioning �groins,� kind of takes the romance out of my love for sleeping in the same bed.

I really ought to get going. I got an extension on one of my essays because after last weekend I just stopped really caring and did no editing for it. But before I do, here are three jokes. And if you DON�T laugh, you�re truly dead inside.

1. Two fish are in their tank. One turns to the other and says, �I�ll drive.�

2. Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he needed a poo.

3. How did Darth Vadar know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? Because he felt his presents.

O man. Those are great. Hee hee!

****meep, promises that once she gets this shit done with she�ll tell you all about the mathematical and geometric relationships in Hitchcock�s films that act as a McGuffin to distract the spectator�s attention away from the real motive: the preservation of the ideological project of the murderous couple.