2004-07-19..4:36 p.m.

So these two Cesium atoms are walking down the street. Says the first Cesium atom, "oh my god! I think I'm missing an electron". Says the second, "are you sure?" Says the first, "I'm positive"...

HAHAHAHAHAHA o how I laugh. I laugh and it hurts.

Why, you ask? Because my back is killing me today, I say. My spine is twisty and knotted and respite is found only within the hunching of shoulders and the curving of vertebrate. My spine is being used by a group of holidaying primary children in their Art Attack. They are abusing me with glue and pipe-cleaners. I am powerless to defend. But WHY? You ask (You are inquisitive today, aren�t you. Always with the questions.) Because yesterday in an attempt to soak up the five minutes of sun that shone lightly over London the Boy and I went rowing.

ROWING! IN LONDON! Actually, and more excitingly to the point, in Finsbury Park! Fucking wicked waste of a Sunday afternoon. Especially as the rest of the day was spent dancing nakedly around my room to Supergrass, alternating between reading OMM and A Clockwork Orange, drinking nummy loads of red wine and coffee, and engaging in the gorgeous sex. The most delicious nothings of all. Yum. Regardless, the combination of all that relaxation and the sex and the rowing means that my back is achy and tonight what I really need is to lie down on something flat and groan periodically. Feeling very sorry for myself? Why, yes. Yes, indeed.

Which of course means I shall ignore my better judgements and go see a film. With the Boy. (Have you noticed how he�s become the Boy? Can you tell which one he is? Do you think I�m saying a fucking thing to clarify until it�s too late? I scoff at the very suggestion and threaten to choke and splutter all the way to the bank.) So yeah. A film, I think is in order. We�re tossing Spiderman and Fahrenheit at each other, but frankly I�m foreseeing a little spidey action in my future. Why Spidey? WHY SPIDEY? DARE YOU ASK?

Listen, bud. That�s right! I�m talking to you. Can Michael Moore spin a web? Catch thieves just like flies? Can he swing from a thread? Has he ignored Wealth and Fame? Is Action his reward? Will you find him where ever there�s a something going down in the �hood? Will you?

Actually the similarities between Spidey and Mikey are fairly outstanding. For Michael too spins webs, though of a socio-political bent. And he does use these webs to catch out the whores of the political underworld, the thieves of social duty, and the criminals of humanity. Though he hasn�t ignored wealth or fame (rather pursued both endlessly to better enable his visions of a fairer world), Action is indeed his reward. The Action of the common person, rising up against corporate and political conglomerates in defiance of capitalist and fascist atrocities, that is. To him life IS a great big bang up, and when there�s a hang-up, a hold-up, or a bust-up he will indeed be found. Right there in the front row, demanding to know why those in power have cocked it up again.

Ok, so maybe you can answer yes to some of those, but would you want to see Michael Moore in a red leotard with blue pants over top? I DO NOT THINK SO!

Anyway. It�s nigh on time I got to the post room and franked my ass outta here.

****meep