2004-03-18..2:01 p.m.

Compared to yesterday I�ve gone totally flouncy pouncy. I�m all big pea-green skirts (vintage, thank yew) and figure-huggin� cargie. My Powerpuff locks are shouting, Let�s Go! and gearing for a showdown.

Advantage: MEEP!

Sigh. Remember Wang? I miss Wang, and her wisecrackin� lesbian friends. I miss the dumbass ex-husband Barry, and his refusal to give back the Hyundai. I miss SNL. I wonder what they�re doing now. I wonder if they miss me too. I was a very loyal viewer, and during the Russ Meyers Drive-In Saturday�s on Bravo, I didn�t miss one. Nelle and I would actually leave bars early, even if we were winning at Foos Ball*, just so we could plop our lazy ass�s down in the livingroom on sofa** and not move for the next three hours. Actually the fervency of our love got to the point we�d spend the day making soggy tofu-cookies, cheap wine at the ready, before settling in for a night of sexed up violence, unnaturally breasted vixens, and political (some of the time) satire. If you don�t think that�s reason to rock, I just can�t help you.

Naysayers to our geek-obsessive behaviour sure had their comeuppance when we held our end of year dinner party. A table set of twelve, groaning under the weight of made-with-love Ital-fusion cuisine, bowls laden and wine flowing, all to a background accompaniment of Mondo Topless, and Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill! Pictures capturing the event say far more than anyone in polite society would care to admit.

Regardless. We just don�t get SNL here, except for re-runs from when it wasn�t at all funny, just cringy awful. I shan�t pretend that it�s currently at the same standard of achievement as it�s glory days, but Tina Fey is a Brainy And Comedic Goddess. She�s cute too, and I am not ashamed to admit half the obsessive rejection of all things social on Saturday�s was due to needing to get my fix o� Fey for the week. That and Weekend Update�s other half Jimmy Fallon, who is by no means unpretty. What a great combination. The instigators of so many three-way fantasies.

*Rarely if ever. We were Utter Shit, but every week we�d challenge someone to a Foosduel.

**These were Ghetto Couches, adopted by our little Co-op family and better left to their own devices and not thought about too thoroughly. In the one year I was in that house they were: dragged onto the porch, dragged back in after a couple of days rain, puked on in several drunken stupors (not by me), bled profusely on during a rampant epidemic of nose bleeds, scorched during accidental propane blaze, soaked in paint fumes, fucked on unceremoniously by HouseSlut Mango. During on of our attempts to clean the fucker we unearthed a half-eaten bag of cotton candy, several Tostito Rounds bags, some cheez things, two books, a set of keys, three condom wrappers (empty..eeeew. fortunately no sign of the contents), a t-shirt and three odd socks. It simply absorbed detritus until such times as we were ready to reclaim them.

And now a Rant:

There has been a positive plethora of articles and letters to editors about Fair Trade lately, which hurrah, really. I mean, the more publicity, the more awareness, the more people are able to make informed and ethical decisions about how they contribute to the exploitation of the third world. It�s the same as organics, and recycling, and vegetarianism, and wear fair. But it makes me FURIOUS when I see people trying to blag justifications for not bothering. I�d almost rather said nothing than try to make ME their moral conscience and bullying ME into going on the defensive about the moral choices I make. Yes, I�m very vegetarian. Yes, I buy organics/fair trade wherever possible. Yes, I recycle and re-use to create less waste. But I am also too poor to buy organic all the time, too thoughtless to look into every single label I purchase to make sure they�re not running sweatshops or supporting child labour, too selfish stop eating cheese and yogurt despite it being organic dairy, which really is my own little hypocritical justification. I smoke too. And I am conscious of all of these and I do keep on looking for more ways to make this little world of ours a better place, but I don�t go looking to other people to validate these *behaviours* I know I ought to change. For fuck�s sake. If you�re so bothered by your own moral indiscretions then DO something about it and stop projecting your guilt onto me. Thank you.

This Rant has been brought to you be the letters GRR and ARG of the Pisdophedes alphabet.

If I could do one thing today, it would be the much making of many grooving fifties film posters. The Wild Ones? Vertigo? Invasion of the Body Snatchers? (that piece of shit Cusack film last year was so a rip off of this one. Not happy Cusack. Not happy.) Nothing beats the artistry of the hand drawn. Even Some Like It Hot had the right idea. A simple provocation of the imagination, causing a burning desire to dig deeper. There was a luxurious curious quality about them that has, by and large, since been lost. Actually, there was a neat-o exhibit on during the summer of film poster from Italy through 1950s up to the early 1980s. All symbolism and decadence.

Actually, if I could do two things today, it would be go home and finish Our Man in Havana. Graham Greene. A Champion among men. Who write spy novels.

Well, this has been a feast of random thoughts, hasn't it? Hope you're getting jiggy with it, because I know I sure as hell am. Whoa. Nelly.

*****meep