2004-02-23..4:09 p.m.

Have been almost painfully productive this morning. Filing, franking, dairying, press cutting, data entering. You want something done, just call on me. As a result I�m now feeling empty. And bored. Actually not so much the bored, but very definitely the empty. Or maybe yearny. Today I walked to work on streets paved with frost and yearned long and hard to be in Toronto. I never used to be this yearny to be in the old N of A, but here I am. Yearning. Not pining. Yearning.

And it might not just be the productivity either. I�m reading The Catcher in the Rye as well as Dance Dance Dance, neither of which should be attempted while driving or lifting heavy objects. Draining, I tell you! DRAINING!

Pretty slow sort of weekend, though again with the productive. Maybe that�s why I keep dreaming about having my period. Have I told you that? I�ve been dreaming about menstruation. In particular, my menstruation. Which I have not experienced in ten months. Not even a driblet. O I get ratty and PMS like crazy, don�t get me wrong. I get crampy and irritable and bloated and start craving chocolate and cheese sandwich�s with salsa on the side, but do I have anything to show for it? Nada. It all started when I came off the pill last March; around the same time I lost about twenty-five pounds, was trying to get through final essays, studying for final exams, applying for grad school (7/8 success rate, thank you very much. The only one that didn�t want me was York, which is ironic because they were supposed to be my safety net when Goldsmiths told me they had found better.), breaking up with my boyfriend four times in six weeks. Sordid bitch of a last term of undergrad. Regardless, methinks the menses dreaming is either my ovaries waking up, or the Universal Femme Psyche sending a subconscious thumb�s up for being on the ball and a cool type gal in general.

Wouldn�t that be nice? Hey, Meeps! Good on ya! Congrats for being such a great person, here�s a Menstruation dream on us! No, really! It�s the least we can do!

But really, it�s more likely that it�s all this productive behaviour. Over the weekend I wrote a review for the Broken Family Band concert (The one that was two weeks ago. I know; I�m slow.) and actually managed to get started on some templates for a project in knickers my flatmate and I are possibly maybe kind of going to perhaps kicking off in the next little while. Due to my uber-superstitious nature in these things, that is all I�ll say on the subject. I also found the bank card that I thought I�d lost last week.

Note only thought I�d lost. None of the proactive going to the bank to see if it was handed in; none of the cancelling and ordering a new one. Not for me, o no! Just more of the, It�ll turn up bullshit I usually pull when it comes to banks. Banks make me nervous, and I always end up becoming stroppy and unmanageable which makes the bank people stroppy and inflexible. Which is also why I�ve got a Basic Bank account instead of a checking account or Switch. Literally. It says so on my card: Basic Bank Account. (Ha Ha to anyone who one day tried to steal it, because you won�t get anything unless your me or you have my PIN.) Where was I? O right, the bank card.

So I went and checked my balance, something I�ve refrained from doing out of fear of knowing how much is in there, and it turns out I�ve saved over �3000 towards my tuition! �3000!! That�s nearly half my goal! Only �5325 to go! I mayn�t need a big fat loan after all. Just a little fat one.

Also watched Singing in the Rain last night. Debbie Reynolds is the cutest thing on legs in that film.

The rumourmill has more Pixie dates in circulation. Though I myself am not the hugest of Pixie�s fans, I know many who are, and thus I rather hope such rumour-mongering turns out to be true. Speaking of gigs: Ravonettes tomorrow night! I�m just a bundle of punkified excitement. Rubbish venue (Camden Pally, I�ve yet to see a good show there), but still! Ravonettes! Wa-hee!

If you ever call me up at work and I breathe heavily into the phone, I apologise now. Some man just called and it was fucking tsunami of exhalation noise battering the eardrum.

I think it's time for me to get back to work. Wa. Hee.

Until playtime, ms meep