25.08.05..1:18 pm

I've been mostly editing and panicking the past couple of days. I've STILL not got a replacement supervisor although today I got an email from Maria (post-grad secretary) saying that Professor Course Convener has said he'll do it. Well, that's great, but where was he saying that three weeks ago when I emailed him asking who it was going to be? I've less than three weeks left and I just feel so lost. I'm going to ask for an extension I've decided. I just feel like I've been bollocksed around and basically that I'll have wasted more than �8000 and a whole year on something that just doesn't seem to be materialising. I feel completely unsupported.

This must be what it's like going out to get big fake boobs and the wrong sized bras once you get home.

[UPDATE] This afternoon I've been editing the twelve pages which constitute my introduction and first 'chapter'; it's approximately one sixth of the finished product and an eighth of what I've actually got written so far and I've been thinking. In my first year at uni we had to complete roughly five 1000-2500 word essays per class per term. 25 essays in all. And I remember SHITTING myself over the prospect of a whole 2500 words TWENTY-FIVE HUNDRED WORDS because it's SO MUCH?! Holy Sweet Jesus, I would think to myself, how in FUCK'S name am I going to manage that. I think back to that and wonder. I have a mere 12000 words on this thing. That's it. And I'm SHITTING myself because it's SO NOT ENOUGH! I hope I remember this when I start my PhD and start flipping out over the 80000 they're gonna give me. If it turns out that's not enough I'm going to cry.

****emmms came crashing down..like London Bridge or other