2004-01-27..12:51 p.m.

what a weird weekend. spent all of last week in The Land of Happy Anticipation, beaming at the world idiotically, singing dreamy love songs and generally making a nuisance of myself by being in love with possibility. tripped to work everyday like some lovehappy lamb in the meadow of good vibrations. sat in corners smiling secretly, cigarette forgotten and about to burn my fingertips, and then giggling when i caught myself doing it. saturday came and the lovefest sprang into a full on lustorama everytime i listened to the essex green album (which was rather pitifully on repeat, so all the time then). tried to distract myself from jinxing the entire situation by pulling an article on the headscarves issue out of my ass while being doped up by motion sickness (have got to bus it more often, nearly puked on the upper decks). never really experienced motion sickness before, but it's really not what one would call a pleasant phenomenon. so if that wasn't bad enough - it lasted all the way into sunday morning - talked to faysel on sunday. in itself, talking to fays is never particularly weird, though it is fays, so yeah.. but i get the distinct impression that michael thinks i'm still after the lovethang w him bc i'm concerned about his well being. fays made some comment about don't i think i've been away from michael long enough now, which i didn't quite know how to respond to so blagged on about how i've been over it all for a while now and really just want to know he's ok bc i meant it when i said i wanted to be friends, if distantly. right. so that's weirdness number one. THEN faysal said that he was hanging out w the boy that night w lucy and vicki as well, and when i joked about their little posse o' cool last year, he agreed and told me 'they really hated you last year. and george did too.'

i'm not sure if it's the fact that he effectively managed to dredge up all the shit we put up from them last year, or the fact that, though i'm really bothered by how they feel, i rather thought we got on ok, certainly not HATE standards in any case. and then we concurred that emily was the most head-up-her-own-ass self-pedestalised bitch either of us had the pleasure of meeting last year.

So. compounding the michael conceit, the lu-vic hatemongering, and the waiting for godot/e.j. to get back from touring, i'm feeling distinctly hoopy today. also eating too much sugar and so hyperactive to the point my veins are bouncing.

hooped-out meep