2004-05-17..1:12 p.m.

Last night: dreamt I was on a bicycle somewhere either in the Netherlands or in the Norfolk broads. It was damp and flat, and the roads went on for miles and the sky was greying in the distance and I was happy.

When I woke up: Kermit the Frog was singing and dancing in his Kermit the Frog kind of way. I remembered the song all the way into the shower and then promptly forgot it as Broken Family Songs began their inevitable appearance. They percolate through my conscious mind more than any other band.

On my way to work: ran into ducks on the sidewalk. They were just kind of hanging around quaking nervously at each other like they were late for breakfast and weren�t really certain this was the right house, but eventually decided it was and turned up the garden path. I�d never seen ducks in the city that weren�t floating about on a pond in Hyde Park or something trying to catch bits of lost ice cream cone being flung by giddy children at the prospect of Ducks! On a pond! In the city!

At work: it�s been spillage all over the place. I threw coffee ground on my shoes trying to throw said grounds in the bin. I chucked the contents of my mug all over my desk and skirt. I dropped post all over the mail room. This may all be remnants of the most humongously monstrous hangover of all time as experienced yesterday, or it�s nerves because in less than an hour I will be lying back with my legs spread being propped open by a cold stainless steel mouth as cell scrapings and mucal samples are extracted from my delicate pudendum. I�m very very nervous. More nervous than I really care to admit, because this is the first such test I�ve had since getting here almost a year ago and so I don�t know the doctor who�s about to do it and I don�t know the clinic and I wish I were home with the woman who�s been doing my vagina maintenance for the past 7 years.

This weekend was fun and drunken and fun and drunken and desperately, morbidly, embarrassingly hungover. Friday I got to hang out with Matthew, and he came back to mine and we snuggled and woke up and hung out all day long, which was fantastic. He�s growing on me. I still think I�d cheat the pants off of him (perhaps not immediately, perhaps not for a few months, or a year, but one day I would), but I definitely like the dude. Saturday night was Everything in Latin! It was Salsarrific! It was My Own Sweet Hell! Wendi and I got blazingly drunk to block it all out and Sunday I paid for it dearly.

Right. I�ve got to go� GAH!!!!!! Wish me luick,

****meep